UM, HELLO. HELLO MOST FAVORITE STORY. All that keymashing I did on this one and I still don't know what to SAY. It's just - it's so gritty and you're not quite sure where everyone's coming from at first. There's that first bit, that's SO SCORCHING HOT ADKFJGHLKJHJK I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THAT YOU CAN'T WRITE SEX SCENES, and then there's this line that follows: David's still asleep, curled around him, one arm thrown carelessly over Cook's side, like he has a right to be there. which just SMACKS into you. I gawk at that last line every time I read it. It's so telling of David's frame of mind and it's just, ugh, amazingly done.
I think you did so incredibly well on the characterizations here, because nothing about either of them is simple. Archie stays probably longer than he should, and David acts out because he's afraid of losing, and I LOVE that they're so freaking three-dimensional. Their situation is so far from simple, which I think rings so true to life and I'm amazed by it. That scene in the kitchen where Archie stays to pick up the broken glass - god, I was RIVETED. I can't do this anymore, his body says, in the slump of its shoulders, the hard edge to the lines of its back. - I love that line so, so much.
And I love that it's not EASY for David to get Archie back, that he has to resolve some things with himself as well as with others before it can happen. AND I FREAKING LOVE THE CHANGED ENDING, OH MY GOD, NAT. That is PERFECT. So hopeful because Archie PICKS UP, but not overly so, and you're left to draw your own conclusions and asdlkfgjlkjdfghjf, I adore that BEYOND BELIEF.
(Plus, also, teacher/student kink? APPARENTLY QUITE PRESENT WITH ME. THANK YOU FOR OPENING MY EYES, NAT.)
ASdfghkhljf Nat, some of your BEST work in my opinion. YOU ARE AMAZINGCAKES.
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I think you did so incredibly well on the characterizations here, because nothing about either of them is simple. Archie stays probably longer than he should, and David acts out because he's afraid of losing, and I LOVE that they're so freaking three-dimensional. Their situation is so far from simple, which I think rings so true to life and I'm amazed by it. That scene in the kitchen where Archie stays to pick up the broken glass - god, I was RIVETED. I can't do this anymore, his body says, in the slump of its shoulders, the hard edge to the lines of its back. - I love that line so, so much.
And I love that it's not EASY for David to get Archie back, that he has to resolve some things with himself as well as with others before it can happen. AND I FREAKING LOVE THE CHANGED ENDING, OH MY GOD, NAT. That is PERFECT. So hopeful because Archie PICKS UP, but not overly so, and you're left to draw your own conclusions and asdlkfgjlkjdfghjf, I adore that BEYOND BELIEF.
(Plus, also, teacher/student kink? APPARENTLY QUITE PRESENT WITH ME. THANK YOU FOR OPENING MY EYES, NAT.)
ASdfghkhljf Nat, some of your BEST work in my opinion. YOU ARE AMAZINGCAKES.