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amfiguree[Lord Of The Rings] [Legolas/Aragorn, Aragorn/Arwen] [PG13-ish]
Always
Author’s Note: This story is not beta’d. It’s also my first attempt at Legolas/Aragorn. Please be nice. You can flame, but there’s always that little thing called the trash can. Based on the song ‘Always’ by Bon Jovi.
Stuff in ‘//’ are memories. It’s not exactly in chronological order. Doesn’t touch on stuff about the ring or the Ringbearer. Mainly focuses on Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli.
//“I will love you baby
Always
I’ll be there forever and a day
Always…
I’ll be there till the stars don’t shine
Till the heavens burst
And the words don’t rhyme
I know when I die
You’ll be on my mind
And I’ll love you always.”
That who sang looks up, into the face of another. “That song. ‘Tis sad. A lament of a love once lost. Full of woe and misery. I like it not. Sing another, my love, and render tonight one of glory and joy, for we must never abandon ourselves to despair.”
“Yes.”
A thoughtful silence passes.
**“Have I told you lately that I love you?
Have I told you there’s no one else above you?
You fill my heart with gladness
Take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles, that’s what you do.
For the morning sun and all it’s glory
Greets the day with hope and comfort too
You fill my heart with laughter
Take my pain and make it better
Ease my troubles, that’s what you do
There’s a long lasting fire
And it’s yours and it’s mine, like the sun
And at the end of the day
We should give thanks and pray to the one, to the one
Have I told you lately that I love you?”
All is quiet for a moment. “Yes, my love, you have.”
A soft, intimate kiss is shared, and two figures lie silently back on the ground.//
//”I thought you had died!”
“Nay, my prince. I could not bear leaving you behind.”
One flings himself at another.
“I thought I should die of grief.”
“There is no need to fear, love.” A hand caresses a wet cheek tenderly. “I could not leave you. I shall never leave you.”//
//”Think of me often, Estel. For you shall always be on my mind.”
“Yes, Arwen. I will.”
The words lie heavy on his conscience. They haunt his every waking hour, and his every fitful dream. He berates himself for the many nights he has not thought of her, and the thought that he has betrayed her sweet, gentle love is a knife through his heart. Yet he cannot deny that in his innermost thoughts, his most private being belongs to another. And Arwen’s place in his heart…
She has been replaced.//
//”You are beautiful, my love.”
A shy smile crosses the face of the one being spoken to. “As are you.”
Tenderly, they rub the mud off each other’s body.
The water is warm, and they relish the feeling of skin against skin.
Their mouths meet in an explosion of want and lust and love.
They are breathless.
And as they clothe, one says wistfully, “We must bathe more often.”
Laughter permeates the still air.//
//”Where are we going?”
A mysterious smile. “You shall see, my love. Now come with me!”
Laughter rings in the distance. There is the sound of light footsteps.
Arms circle a slender waist. Forehead rests upon forehead. Feet twirl bodies in circles, two creatures moving as one.
“What are we doing?”
More soft laughter. “Dancing in the rain.”
An odd look passes from one man to another. “Is that not something one does only when one is alone?”
A smile. Then the tender caress of lips on lips. “Nay, my prince. ‘Tis something you do only with the one you love.”//
//”If you do not stop laughing, I shall cut off your heads!” One grumbles, swinging his axe with a flourish.
A tongue poking out of its mouth rewards him for his words. “We are jesting, Master Dwarf. Surely you do not mind?”
“Jesting?” Incredulity is obvious in his tone. “You have been acting strangely, my friends. Is something wrong? The elf never smiles, nor laughs, and yet he is always whistling now. What have you done to him, Aragorn?”
A secretive smile is exchanged.
“Never mind, Gimli. Do you not like me when I smile?”
A huge grin spreads itself on one’s face.
“I don’t like you, elf. Now don’t you forget it!”
An eyebrow raised in challenge. “I-“
Laughter cuts through the argument. “Come now. We have not the time for childish antics. Our friends are waiting for us.”
“Childish!” Two men whirl on that who spoke.
“We’ll show him childish!”
In the twinkle of an eye, they are rolling on the forest ground, wrestling playfully, spirits considerably lighter than before.//
//”I can bear this no more! Galadriel speaks of hope, of light, of good triumphing over evil. And yet I cannot see it.”
“Nay, my love, there is always hope. Remember my words.”
“How can you tolerate this, my prince? The agony is too great. People are falling, as are kingdoms. Sauron shall gain the ring once more, and Middle Earth shall be thrown again into darkness!”
“Nay, my love, we shall fight with our lives. And we shall be victorious. Good always triumphs. That is my hope. That is my prayer. We must not abandon ourselves to despair. Was not it you who once spoke those wise words?”
A tired smile appears at last. “Thank you, mellon. (friend)”
“Am I not always here, love?”
The smile grows brighter now.//
//The wind blows gently, teasing his hair, guiding it lightly across his face.
“Such is your beauty, my love, that I am rendered speechless.”
A small smile.
“Yet you hardly unbraid your hair. ‘Tis a pity. For I should like to see you so vulnerable sometimes.”
The smile fades somewhat, a fond look taking its place.
“Shall I unbraid it every night?” The voice is quiet, melodious, fluent. “Or would you do it for me?”
Another smile appears. “I would be honoured if you so allowed me to feel it.”
One hand clutches another, bringing the calloused hand to run through moonlight blond hair, and then resting it on a soft, snow- white cheek. “I am yours. And to me, you may do what you will. For I give myself willingly, and shall submit to your touch at your word. My soul is yours to claim, my body yours to take, and my heart I have already surrendered to you.”
Eyes meet and lips curve upwards. “Then I shall braid your hair this morn.”
A head simply bows in acquiescence.//
//Clothing is quickly discarded, strewn carelessly across the grass.
Mouths meet hungrily, tongues fighting, before tearing apart.
Fire burns in their touches.
Their eyes dance with need and love, and they can form no coherent thought.
Only the words ‘more’. ‘Please’. ‘Love’.
Their breathing is heavy, and low moans escape them.
They make love long into the night, their fingers entwined in an intricate pattern, as they merge as one, mind, body and soul.
Finally, exhaustion takes over.
They collapse next to each other, still breathless.
“Oh, Elbereth, I could not love you more.”
“I fall in love with you more every day.”
Their fingers are still linked.//
//”Aragorn! Come now, we have forgone food and rest far too long! Oughtn’t we camp for the night?”
A sly smile. “Why, it seems our Master Dwarf has grown weary on this journey. We should stop to camp for the night, let Gimli rest up his strength.”
“Rest up my…! Why, you elf! Come here and I shall show YOU strength!”
Laughter fills the night sky. “Catch me if you can, Gimli!”
There is a shake of the head, before more laughter is heard. “Legolas, give the old dwarf a chance.”
“Why you! You two are in cahoots!”
“Why yes we are, Master Dwarf.” A soft brush of lips against a flushed cheek. “Did you only just notice?”
“Now I know the cause of the sounds that have kept me away from slumber so many nights ago.”
Cue a devilish grin. “I believe you have found the answer you sought, mellon.”
Chuckles erupt and the party of three trudge on, their moods brighter than before.//
//”I love you.”
“As I do you.”
“Always and forever.”
A gentle kiss. “I swear it.”//
//A man crouches next to another. “What is wrong, love? Why do you weep?”
A soft, broken voice replies. “You still wear the Evenstar, Estel. I do not understand. Do you not love me? Am I not enough?”
The sound of muffled sobs fill the air.
“I… I cannot explain, my love. You and her… I love you both. But.”
“But I am simply a warm body at night on this journey, and she is the one you will wed!” An angry outburst. Birds fled from their roosting places at the cry.
“I…”
“Nay! Say naught more! I wish not to hear it! Go! Leave me be!”
“Please…”
“Go!”
A dejected sigh. Bones creak as one stands. Footsteps fall as he leaves.
The other weeps as though his heart has broken.
The forest can only whisper its quiet comfort.//
//”I… Forgive me. I was not feeling well.”
“’Tis your pardon I should beg for.”
“Nay!” Agitation burns the tone of the one who speaks. “Nay. Please. Speak not of what I foolishly assumed. I give myself willingly, you know this.”
“You would offer yourself to a man who’s actions shall break your heart?”
“Yes.”
“Why, my love? Why do you torture yourself so?”
“I… I know of no other way to live.”//
//”You shall bring death to yourself!”
“Gimli.”
“I know not why you do this! Why you torture yourself over a man who loves you not.”
“Gimli.”
“Elves can die of a broken heart, I know. For Haldir once told me so.”
“Gimli!”
The Dwarf sighed heavily, his tone bleak. “I wish not to lose you, my friend.”
“I am already lost, Gimli.”//
//”I cannot bring myself to beg pardon for a love I do not regret.” He bows his head.
“I never asked you to.”
“I… I know not how to live without you. I… I have forgotten how.”
“I am sorry, my friend.” There was sadness and regret in his voice. “But you too, knew this day would come.”
“Realism does much to dampen hope.”
”Forgive me, my friend.” A brotherly embrace.
A forced smile lingers on their faces. “’Tis all right. I shan’t die.”
A parting squeeze of hands. “I shall miss you, mellon.”
One leaves as quickly as the wind.
Once again, the other can only collapse. And weep.
Weep for his loss. And for what he can never have.//
//”Thank you for coming.”
“How could I not? You are getting married!”
The tinge of underlying bitterness goes unnoticed.//
There was no peace to be found anywhere. The world spun dizzily around him, and he stumbled over his own feet, before falling back against a wall and breathing in the cool air, tinged with the slightest hint of sweet rain.
It was too much. It was far, far too much for him to take. His heart ached and his mind was weary from misery. Too much pain, too many burdens, too much emotion to comprehend. This was all wrong. Painfully wrong.
Aragorn. And her. Together.
He bit back a cry of anguish, and instead, allowed a short bark of harsh laughter to escape his throat when it began to rain. The raindrops were light, soft, before they beat down faster, harder, till they felt like small stinging slaps against his bare arms and face. He sank down to the floor, his breathing ragged, mindless of the moisture running down his cheeks. One would not be able to tell if it was the rain, or tears.
“This Romeo is bleedin’
You can’t see his blood
It’s nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up.”
His voice was soft, but it slowly grew stronger, and the raw pain in his voice was too much for anyone to bear. The birds stopped chirping, the forest grew still and everything around him seemed to grow quiet. Only the wind and rain continued to blow, heedless of his anguish and inner conflict.
“It’s been raining since you left me
Now I’m drowning in the flood
See I’ve always been a fighter
But without you I give up.”
He hung his head, trying not to let his sorrow swallow him whole. There was one last thing he had to do in his life before he could give up, if he would allow himself to give up at all.
“I can’t sing a love song
Like the way it’s meant to be
Well I guess I’m not that good anymore
But baby that’s just me.”
Unbeknownst to him, a pair of eyes watched him from the distance. Sadness shone with their knowledge of his pain, as he continued singing, although already completely drenched from head to toe in rainwater.
“I will love you baby
Always
I’ll be there forever and a day
Always…
I’ll be there till the stars don’t shine
Till the heavens burst
And the words don’t rhyme
I know when I die
You’ll be on my mind
And I’ll love you always.”
Too choked to continue, he had to swallow and breathe deeply several times before he managed to get his feelings under control.
“Now your picture’s there you left behind
All just memories of a different life
Some they made us laugh, some they made us cry…”
Recollections flashed in his head, like a *movie in slow motion. The two of them. Dancing in the rain together, laughing together, singing together, bathing together, making love…
Then the memories were replaced with something more heartrending, more intense, than any of the joy in those happy memories could erase. Betrayal. Rejection. Grief. Forced acceptance. The reminiscence of them together. Aragorn and her. Walking together, holding hands, laughing and talking, as only lovers would.
It hurt. Just thinking about it hurt. It hurt everything. His eyes. His feet. His stomach. His head.
His heart.
“One that made you have to say goodbye.”
His voice was uneven, choked by feeling and a passion too strong to control as he trailed off. There he felt a burning sensation behind his eyes, and tried in vain to hold back the tears, but then he looked around, seeing no one, hearing no one, and finally allowed the tears to fall, certain no one would look for him for some time yet.
“What I’d give to run my fingers through your hair
Touch your lips, to hold you near…
When you say your prayers, try to understand
I’ve made mistakes; I’m just a man.”
He had never meant to hurt anyone. But here he was, standing before the altar, being exalted by tens of thousands of people as the next King of Gondor, and all he could think of was the fact that he had let down his closest friend, the love of his life.
His voice was quiet, and he was slightly out of tune, but the melody came back to him slowly as he sang. He missed Legolas. He missed him so much. Seeing him in the clearing, singing and sobbing as though the world had come to an end... Dying a thousand deaths would not have hurt him so.
“When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words you’ve been needing to hear
I wish I was him, with these words of mine
To say to you, till the end of time.”
Gimli had been a better friend to Legolas than Aragorn could hope to be. When the elf was down, Gimli had always been there. To remind him he was loved by his friends, by his people, by his family. To remind him not to throw his life away for the sake of a worthless mortal.
Yet, there was always the same twinge of jealousy when Aragorn saw them together. Gimli was now the only one able to sometimes draw a smile out of Legolas – he was even more withdrawn now than he had been before – and in his heart, Aragorn ached with the knowledge that he was the cause of the elf’s pain.
“And I will love you baby
Always
I’ll be there forever and a day
Always…”
“What are you singing, m’lord?”
“Oh.” Aragorn jerked out of his reverie. “Nothing, Arwen. Is dinner ready?”
“’Tis served on the table.”
“The ceremony?”
“’Tis soon.” Arwen’s smile was too bright. “We shall be bonded for life, Estel.”
“Yes.”
And suddenly Aragorn lost all desire to eat.
“If you told me to cry for you, I could
If you told me to die for you, I would.”
Legolas was still singing quietly to himself when the bride and groom entered the ceremony hall. His eyes were now dry, but he had not had the time to wipe them. They were red and sore, and thus he kept his head low, for fear of revealing his feelings. He had let Aragorn go this long, surely he could keep his silence a while longer.
Yet when Aragorn’s eyes sought his, he felt it. Instinctively, he looked up, ignoring the gasp of surprise the ex-ranger emitted, which only his and Arwen’s elven hearing caught. He saw Arwen asking her husband-to-be if anything was the matter, and his heart could not help but jump when he impatiently shook her off.
“Take a look at my face
There’s no price I won’t pay
To say these words to you.”
He could not understand why he was still singing. Nor could he understand why Aragorn was joining in.
“I have missed you.” He whispered, as his friend joined his side.
“As have I.” Aragorn’s brow was furrowed. “I am sorry.”
“Do not belittle my love for you, Estel.” Legolas’ tone was harsher than he had intended. “Do not apologize. I wish not to hear it.”
Aragorn nodded, closing his eyes to hide his pain, before turning away and returning to his bride’s side. There were duties he had to complete, whether his heart was torn or not.
“Well there ain’t no love in this lonely times
But baby if you give me just one more try
I’ll make a pact upon our dreams and I won’t lie
We’ll find a place where the sun still shines.”
“Estel?”
Once again, Aragorn jumped at the sound of Arwen’s voice.
He mumbled an apology, barely looking at her.
“Estel, will you not tell me what is wrong?”
Aragorn turned to her, almost prepared to declare his love for Legolas. But the gentle, worried features on her fair face caught him, sweeping him off his feet, as she had once done the day they had first met.
And he felt Arwen reclaiming the place in his heart that he had once feared taken.
“’Tis nothing, Arwen. ‘Tis nothing.”
“I will love you baby
Always
I’ll be there forever and a day
Always.”
Legolas had little to hold on to as he watched Aragorn and Arwen complete their wedding ceremony. He had to grind his jaw together if only to stop from crying out. And yet he somehow mustered up enough strength to smile at both Aragorn and Arwen long enough to satisfy them, before falling against Gimli as his legs failed him.
And as he watched them smilingly accept the congratulations offered them, Aragorn without even so much as a backward glance to him, he left the hall quietly, hoping that no one would notice his absence.
Gimli had already left to talk to Frodo.
Aragorn looked around, smile vanishing as he realized the moonlight blond elf was not there. Frantically, he searched the room with his eyes, his heart heavy with guilt when he become conscious of the fact that he had not paid Legolas any attention.
He ventured out into the same clearing, after politely excusing himself from his wife’s side. He was rewarded for his intuition.
“I’ll be there till the stars don’t shine
Till the heavens burst
And the words don’t rhyme.”
Legolas glanced up when he heard the rustle of grass.
“’Tis only I.” Quiet comfort.
Legolas looked away again, voice catching in his throat. “Why are you not with Arwen?”
This time, try as he might, the bitterness was too strong to be hidden, and the elf’s face burned with humiliation as he realized he had not been careful enough with hiding his feelings.
“Legolas…”
“Nay.” There was weariness in his voice now. “If I were to die, then I would die in peace.”
“You-”
“You know this, Estel. Elves will die of a broken heart, will they not? And without you by my side, I know not how to live. Perhaps this is a better fate for me.”
Legolas would not look up, and Aragorn knew better than to push. Yet a sense of panic took over his senses, for he could not bear watching this beautiful creature die, all for the sake of a man who deserved naught.
As he took a step closer, Legolas suddenly curled into a fetal position, and the faintest of whimpers escaped his lips.
Aragorn fell to his knees beside him, and gently, weakly, his hands stroked the elf’s hair, hoping to soothe his anguish somewhat. And yet he could do nothing when his effort was pushed away, and Legolas turned from him.
“Do not hate me, my love.” His voice cracked with emotion, and tears shone in his eyes, as he longed to reach out to the creature he could not touch. “I could not bear it.”
Legolas did not respond for a long while. And when he spoke, his voice was weakened, pained, but still full of the love Aragorn could always distinguish. “I… I could not hate you. I promise you that much.”
“As I once promised never to leave you?”
Legolas recoiled, as though trying to escape some unknown source of agony and Aragorn frowned at his own cruelty. He was already married to Arwen, why should he then still keep Legolas in such misery?
Legolas was trembling when he next spoke faintly, breaking into Aragorn’s thoughts. “I never make a promise I do not intend to keep. So when I say forever, forever is what I mean.”
Aragorn’s heart ached at the words and he blinked back the tears suddenly threatening to spill. Helplessly, he watched as Legolas’ shivering grew more intense, and another sharp cry of torment from said elf was like a dagger through the heart.
“How… How can I save you?” Aragorn was petrified, as the knowledge that he was losing the man he loved seemed to at last sink in. “Legolas, Legolas, you cannot leave me!”
Legolas finally turned to face Aragorn, who was horrified to find that his lips were blue and his forehead was now covered in cold sweat. “There is… nothing you can do. You are bound to her now. And you offer yourself willingly to her, as I once did you… as I still do you.”
“I… I will go to Lord Elrond! He shall heal you, my love!”
“Nay,” Legolas protested, albeit weakly. “Nothing can save me, Estel. If an elf were to be saved from a broken heart, he must be bound to the one he loves, or to one who so willingly offers himself, and will be bound to that person for all his days. But I will not do so!” Legolas was overcome with a coughing fit before he could continue. “I will not spend the days of eternity pining for you while bound to another. ‘Tis unthinkable!”
Aragorn was crying now, tears of pain and regret falling down his cheeks. “No, my love, no, you must not leave me so.”
Despite his suffering, Legolas managed an enervated smile, finding in him the strength to finish the song, the lament of a love once lost. “I know when I die, you’ll be on my mind, and I’ll love you…”
Legolas started to cough again, then, and his body shook violently as his voice failed him. His eyes glazed over, and his arms went rigid by his side, almost as if trying to ward off some unbidden danger.
“You forgot the always.” Aragorn whispered, as Legolas’ fit seemed to subside somewhat later on. He pulled the elf into his arms quickly, frowning when there was no response.
“Legolas?” Aragorn’s voice was now wavering slightly, and he inhaled deeply as he looked into Legolas’ glazed eyes. They were missing the love and fire he always had loved, the emotions that had made them so unique.
Aragorn hugged the lifeless body to his own, hoping to warm it, to spark a reaction, anything.
//There is always hope.//
“There is no hope without you, Legolas.” Aragorn’s voice was naught but a whisper. “You must not leave me.” A tear ran down Aragorn’s cheek and dropped on the elf’s. “Legolas…”
The forest grew unbearably silent, almost as though mourning the death of the fine Mirkwood prince, and the stillness weighed heavily on Aragorn’s shoulders. An elf had died for him. His elf. His Legolas.
His love.
Moments of grave quiet passed before the trees carried Legolas’ melody into the forest and the wind caressed the pale cheek gently.
Aragorn held him close, his lips at Legolas’ ears. “Always and forever, my love. Always and forever.”
-fin-
*Yes, I realize there were no such thing as movies, then, but go with me here.
**This song is Have I Told You Lately by Rod Stewart.
Always
Author’s Note: This story is not beta’d. It’s also my first attempt at Legolas/Aragorn. Please be nice. You can flame, but there’s always that little thing called the trash can. Based on the song ‘Always’ by Bon Jovi.
Stuff in ‘//’ are memories. It’s not exactly in chronological order. Doesn’t touch on stuff about the ring or the Ringbearer. Mainly focuses on Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli.
//“I will love you baby
Always
I’ll be there forever and a day
Always…
I’ll be there till the stars don’t shine
Till the heavens burst
And the words don’t rhyme
I know when I die
You’ll be on my mind
And I’ll love you always.”
That who sang looks up, into the face of another. “That song. ‘Tis sad. A lament of a love once lost. Full of woe and misery. I like it not. Sing another, my love, and render tonight one of glory and joy, for we must never abandon ourselves to despair.”
“Yes.”
A thoughtful silence passes.
**“Have I told you lately that I love you?
Have I told you there’s no one else above you?
You fill my heart with gladness
Take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles, that’s what you do.
For the morning sun and all it’s glory
Greets the day with hope and comfort too
You fill my heart with laughter
Take my pain and make it better
Ease my troubles, that’s what you do
There’s a long lasting fire
And it’s yours and it’s mine, like the sun
And at the end of the day
We should give thanks and pray to the one, to the one
Have I told you lately that I love you?”
All is quiet for a moment. “Yes, my love, you have.”
A soft, intimate kiss is shared, and two figures lie silently back on the ground.//
//”I thought you had died!”
“Nay, my prince. I could not bear leaving you behind.”
One flings himself at another.
“I thought I should die of grief.”
“There is no need to fear, love.” A hand caresses a wet cheek tenderly. “I could not leave you. I shall never leave you.”//
//”Think of me often, Estel. For you shall always be on my mind.”
“Yes, Arwen. I will.”
The words lie heavy on his conscience. They haunt his every waking hour, and his every fitful dream. He berates himself for the many nights he has not thought of her, and the thought that he has betrayed her sweet, gentle love is a knife through his heart. Yet he cannot deny that in his innermost thoughts, his most private being belongs to another. And Arwen’s place in his heart…
She has been replaced.//
//”You are beautiful, my love.”
A shy smile crosses the face of the one being spoken to. “As are you.”
Tenderly, they rub the mud off each other’s body.
The water is warm, and they relish the feeling of skin against skin.
Their mouths meet in an explosion of want and lust and love.
They are breathless.
And as they clothe, one says wistfully, “We must bathe more often.”
Laughter permeates the still air.//
//”Where are we going?”
A mysterious smile. “You shall see, my love. Now come with me!”
Laughter rings in the distance. There is the sound of light footsteps.
Arms circle a slender waist. Forehead rests upon forehead. Feet twirl bodies in circles, two creatures moving as one.
“What are we doing?”
More soft laughter. “Dancing in the rain.”
An odd look passes from one man to another. “Is that not something one does only when one is alone?”
A smile. Then the tender caress of lips on lips. “Nay, my prince. ‘Tis something you do only with the one you love.”//
//”If you do not stop laughing, I shall cut off your heads!” One grumbles, swinging his axe with a flourish.
A tongue poking out of its mouth rewards him for his words. “We are jesting, Master Dwarf. Surely you do not mind?”
“Jesting?” Incredulity is obvious in his tone. “You have been acting strangely, my friends. Is something wrong? The elf never smiles, nor laughs, and yet he is always whistling now. What have you done to him, Aragorn?”
A secretive smile is exchanged.
“Never mind, Gimli. Do you not like me when I smile?”
A huge grin spreads itself on one’s face.
“I don’t like you, elf. Now don’t you forget it!”
An eyebrow raised in challenge. “I-“
Laughter cuts through the argument. “Come now. We have not the time for childish antics. Our friends are waiting for us.”
“Childish!” Two men whirl on that who spoke.
“We’ll show him childish!”
In the twinkle of an eye, they are rolling on the forest ground, wrestling playfully, spirits considerably lighter than before.//
//”I can bear this no more! Galadriel speaks of hope, of light, of good triumphing over evil. And yet I cannot see it.”
“Nay, my love, there is always hope. Remember my words.”
“How can you tolerate this, my prince? The agony is too great. People are falling, as are kingdoms. Sauron shall gain the ring once more, and Middle Earth shall be thrown again into darkness!”
“Nay, my love, we shall fight with our lives. And we shall be victorious. Good always triumphs. That is my hope. That is my prayer. We must not abandon ourselves to despair. Was not it you who once spoke those wise words?”
A tired smile appears at last. “Thank you, mellon. (friend)”
“Am I not always here, love?”
The smile grows brighter now.//
//The wind blows gently, teasing his hair, guiding it lightly across his face.
“Such is your beauty, my love, that I am rendered speechless.”
A small smile.
“Yet you hardly unbraid your hair. ‘Tis a pity. For I should like to see you so vulnerable sometimes.”
The smile fades somewhat, a fond look taking its place.
“Shall I unbraid it every night?” The voice is quiet, melodious, fluent. “Or would you do it for me?”
Another smile appears. “I would be honoured if you so allowed me to feel it.”
One hand clutches another, bringing the calloused hand to run through moonlight blond hair, and then resting it on a soft, snow- white cheek. “I am yours. And to me, you may do what you will. For I give myself willingly, and shall submit to your touch at your word. My soul is yours to claim, my body yours to take, and my heart I have already surrendered to you.”
Eyes meet and lips curve upwards. “Then I shall braid your hair this morn.”
A head simply bows in acquiescence.//
//Clothing is quickly discarded, strewn carelessly across the grass.
Mouths meet hungrily, tongues fighting, before tearing apart.
Fire burns in their touches.
Their eyes dance with need and love, and they can form no coherent thought.
Only the words ‘more’. ‘Please’. ‘Love’.
Their breathing is heavy, and low moans escape them.
They make love long into the night, their fingers entwined in an intricate pattern, as they merge as one, mind, body and soul.
Finally, exhaustion takes over.
They collapse next to each other, still breathless.
“Oh, Elbereth, I could not love you more.”
“I fall in love with you more every day.”
Their fingers are still linked.//
//”Aragorn! Come now, we have forgone food and rest far too long! Oughtn’t we camp for the night?”
A sly smile. “Why, it seems our Master Dwarf has grown weary on this journey. We should stop to camp for the night, let Gimli rest up his strength.”
“Rest up my…! Why, you elf! Come here and I shall show YOU strength!”
Laughter fills the night sky. “Catch me if you can, Gimli!”
There is a shake of the head, before more laughter is heard. “Legolas, give the old dwarf a chance.”
“Why you! You two are in cahoots!”
“Why yes we are, Master Dwarf.” A soft brush of lips against a flushed cheek. “Did you only just notice?”
“Now I know the cause of the sounds that have kept me away from slumber so many nights ago.”
Cue a devilish grin. “I believe you have found the answer you sought, mellon.”
Chuckles erupt and the party of three trudge on, their moods brighter than before.//
//”I love you.”
“As I do you.”
“Always and forever.”
A gentle kiss. “I swear it.”//
//A man crouches next to another. “What is wrong, love? Why do you weep?”
A soft, broken voice replies. “You still wear the Evenstar, Estel. I do not understand. Do you not love me? Am I not enough?”
The sound of muffled sobs fill the air.
“I… I cannot explain, my love. You and her… I love you both. But.”
“But I am simply a warm body at night on this journey, and she is the one you will wed!” An angry outburst. Birds fled from their roosting places at the cry.
“I…”
“Nay! Say naught more! I wish not to hear it! Go! Leave me be!”
“Please…”
“Go!”
A dejected sigh. Bones creak as one stands. Footsteps fall as he leaves.
The other weeps as though his heart has broken.
The forest can only whisper its quiet comfort.//
//”I… Forgive me. I was not feeling well.”
“’Tis your pardon I should beg for.”
“Nay!” Agitation burns the tone of the one who speaks. “Nay. Please. Speak not of what I foolishly assumed. I give myself willingly, you know this.”
“You would offer yourself to a man who’s actions shall break your heart?”
“Yes.”
“Why, my love? Why do you torture yourself so?”
“I… I know of no other way to live.”//
//”You shall bring death to yourself!”
“Gimli.”
“I know not why you do this! Why you torture yourself over a man who loves you not.”
“Gimli.”
“Elves can die of a broken heart, I know. For Haldir once told me so.”
“Gimli!”
The Dwarf sighed heavily, his tone bleak. “I wish not to lose you, my friend.”
“I am already lost, Gimli.”//
//”I cannot bring myself to beg pardon for a love I do not regret.” He bows his head.
“I never asked you to.”
“I… I know not how to live without you. I… I have forgotten how.”
“I am sorry, my friend.” There was sadness and regret in his voice. “But you too, knew this day would come.”
“Realism does much to dampen hope.”
”Forgive me, my friend.” A brotherly embrace.
A forced smile lingers on their faces. “’Tis all right. I shan’t die.”
A parting squeeze of hands. “I shall miss you, mellon.”
One leaves as quickly as the wind.
Once again, the other can only collapse. And weep.
Weep for his loss. And for what he can never have.//
//”Thank you for coming.”
“How could I not? You are getting married!”
The tinge of underlying bitterness goes unnoticed.//
There was no peace to be found anywhere. The world spun dizzily around him, and he stumbled over his own feet, before falling back against a wall and breathing in the cool air, tinged with the slightest hint of sweet rain.
It was too much. It was far, far too much for him to take. His heart ached and his mind was weary from misery. Too much pain, too many burdens, too much emotion to comprehend. This was all wrong. Painfully wrong.
Aragorn. And her. Together.
He bit back a cry of anguish, and instead, allowed a short bark of harsh laughter to escape his throat when it began to rain. The raindrops were light, soft, before they beat down faster, harder, till they felt like small stinging slaps against his bare arms and face. He sank down to the floor, his breathing ragged, mindless of the moisture running down his cheeks. One would not be able to tell if it was the rain, or tears.
“This Romeo is bleedin’
You can’t see his blood
It’s nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up.”
His voice was soft, but it slowly grew stronger, and the raw pain in his voice was too much for anyone to bear. The birds stopped chirping, the forest grew still and everything around him seemed to grow quiet. Only the wind and rain continued to blow, heedless of his anguish and inner conflict.
“It’s been raining since you left me
Now I’m drowning in the flood
See I’ve always been a fighter
But without you I give up.”
He hung his head, trying not to let his sorrow swallow him whole. There was one last thing he had to do in his life before he could give up, if he would allow himself to give up at all.
“I can’t sing a love song
Like the way it’s meant to be
Well I guess I’m not that good anymore
But baby that’s just me.”
Unbeknownst to him, a pair of eyes watched him from the distance. Sadness shone with their knowledge of his pain, as he continued singing, although already completely drenched from head to toe in rainwater.
“I will love you baby
Always
I’ll be there forever and a day
Always…
I’ll be there till the stars don’t shine
Till the heavens burst
And the words don’t rhyme
I know when I die
You’ll be on my mind
And I’ll love you always.”
Too choked to continue, he had to swallow and breathe deeply several times before he managed to get his feelings under control.
“Now your picture’s there you left behind
All just memories of a different life
Some they made us laugh, some they made us cry…”
Recollections flashed in his head, like a *movie in slow motion. The two of them. Dancing in the rain together, laughing together, singing together, bathing together, making love…
Then the memories were replaced with something more heartrending, more intense, than any of the joy in those happy memories could erase. Betrayal. Rejection. Grief. Forced acceptance. The reminiscence of them together. Aragorn and her. Walking together, holding hands, laughing and talking, as only lovers would.
It hurt. Just thinking about it hurt. It hurt everything. His eyes. His feet. His stomach. His head.
His heart.
“One that made you have to say goodbye.”
His voice was uneven, choked by feeling and a passion too strong to control as he trailed off. There he felt a burning sensation behind his eyes, and tried in vain to hold back the tears, but then he looked around, seeing no one, hearing no one, and finally allowed the tears to fall, certain no one would look for him for some time yet.
“What I’d give to run my fingers through your hair
Touch your lips, to hold you near…
When you say your prayers, try to understand
I’ve made mistakes; I’m just a man.”
He had never meant to hurt anyone. But here he was, standing before the altar, being exalted by tens of thousands of people as the next King of Gondor, and all he could think of was the fact that he had let down his closest friend, the love of his life.
His voice was quiet, and he was slightly out of tune, but the melody came back to him slowly as he sang. He missed Legolas. He missed him so much. Seeing him in the clearing, singing and sobbing as though the world had come to an end... Dying a thousand deaths would not have hurt him so.
“When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words you’ve been needing to hear
I wish I was him, with these words of mine
To say to you, till the end of time.”
Gimli had been a better friend to Legolas than Aragorn could hope to be. When the elf was down, Gimli had always been there. To remind him he was loved by his friends, by his people, by his family. To remind him not to throw his life away for the sake of a worthless mortal.
Yet, there was always the same twinge of jealousy when Aragorn saw them together. Gimli was now the only one able to sometimes draw a smile out of Legolas – he was even more withdrawn now than he had been before – and in his heart, Aragorn ached with the knowledge that he was the cause of the elf’s pain.
“And I will love you baby
Always
I’ll be there forever and a day
Always…”
“What are you singing, m’lord?”
“Oh.” Aragorn jerked out of his reverie. “Nothing, Arwen. Is dinner ready?”
“’Tis served on the table.”
“The ceremony?”
“’Tis soon.” Arwen’s smile was too bright. “We shall be bonded for life, Estel.”
“Yes.”
And suddenly Aragorn lost all desire to eat.
“If you told me to cry for you, I could
If you told me to die for you, I would.”
Legolas was still singing quietly to himself when the bride and groom entered the ceremony hall. His eyes were now dry, but he had not had the time to wipe them. They were red and sore, and thus he kept his head low, for fear of revealing his feelings. He had let Aragorn go this long, surely he could keep his silence a while longer.
Yet when Aragorn’s eyes sought his, he felt it. Instinctively, he looked up, ignoring the gasp of surprise the ex-ranger emitted, which only his and Arwen’s elven hearing caught. He saw Arwen asking her husband-to-be if anything was the matter, and his heart could not help but jump when he impatiently shook her off.
“Take a look at my face
There’s no price I won’t pay
To say these words to you.”
He could not understand why he was still singing. Nor could he understand why Aragorn was joining in.
“I have missed you.” He whispered, as his friend joined his side.
“As have I.” Aragorn’s brow was furrowed. “I am sorry.”
“Do not belittle my love for you, Estel.” Legolas’ tone was harsher than he had intended. “Do not apologize. I wish not to hear it.”
Aragorn nodded, closing his eyes to hide his pain, before turning away and returning to his bride’s side. There were duties he had to complete, whether his heart was torn or not.
“Well there ain’t no love in this lonely times
But baby if you give me just one more try
I’ll make a pact upon our dreams and I won’t lie
We’ll find a place where the sun still shines.”
“Estel?”
Once again, Aragorn jumped at the sound of Arwen’s voice.
He mumbled an apology, barely looking at her.
“Estel, will you not tell me what is wrong?”
Aragorn turned to her, almost prepared to declare his love for Legolas. But the gentle, worried features on her fair face caught him, sweeping him off his feet, as she had once done the day they had first met.
And he felt Arwen reclaiming the place in his heart that he had once feared taken.
“’Tis nothing, Arwen. ‘Tis nothing.”
“I will love you baby
Always
I’ll be there forever and a day
Always.”
Legolas had little to hold on to as he watched Aragorn and Arwen complete their wedding ceremony. He had to grind his jaw together if only to stop from crying out. And yet he somehow mustered up enough strength to smile at both Aragorn and Arwen long enough to satisfy them, before falling against Gimli as his legs failed him.
And as he watched them smilingly accept the congratulations offered them, Aragorn without even so much as a backward glance to him, he left the hall quietly, hoping that no one would notice his absence.
Gimli had already left to talk to Frodo.
Aragorn looked around, smile vanishing as he realized the moonlight blond elf was not there. Frantically, he searched the room with his eyes, his heart heavy with guilt when he become conscious of the fact that he had not paid Legolas any attention.
He ventured out into the same clearing, after politely excusing himself from his wife’s side. He was rewarded for his intuition.
“I’ll be there till the stars don’t shine
Till the heavens burst
And the words don’t rhyme.”
Legolas glanced up when he heard the rustle of grass.
“’Tis only I.” Quiet comfort.
Legolas looked away again, voice catching in his throat. “Why are you not with Arwen?”
This time, try as he might, the bitterness was too strong to be hidden, and the elf’s face burned with humiliation as he realized he had not been careful enough with hiding his feelings.
“Legolas…”
“Nay.” There was weariness in his voice now. “If I were to die, then I would die in peace.”
“You-”
“You know this, Estel. Elves will die of a broken heart, will they not? And without you by my side, I know not how to live. Perhaps this is a better fate for me.”
Legolas would not look up, and Aragorn knew better than to push. Yet a sense of panic took over his senses, for he could not bear watching this beautiful creature die, all for the sake of a man who deserved naught.
As he took a step closer, Legolas suddenly curled into a fetal position, and the faintest of whimpers escaped his lips.
Aragorn fell to his knees beside him, and gently, weakly, his hands stroked the elf’s hair, hoping to soothe his anguish somewhat. And yet he could do nothing when his effort was pushed away, and Legolas turned from him.
“Do not hate me, my love.” His voice cracked with emotion, and tears shone in his eyes, as he longed to reach out to the creature he could not touch. “I could not bear it.”
Legolas did not respond for a long while. And when he spoke, his voice was weakened, pained, but still full of the love Aragorn could always distinguish. “I… I could not hate you. I promise you that much.”
“As I once promised never to leave you?”
Legolas recoiled, as though trying to escape some unknown source of agony and Aragorn frowned at his own cruelty. He was already married to Arwen, why should he then still keep Legolas in such misery?
Legolas was trembling when he next spoke faintly, breaking into Aragorn’s thoughts. “I never make a promise I do not intend to keep. So when I say forever, forever is what I mean.”
Aragorn’s heart ached at the words and he blinked back the tears suddenly threatening to spill. Helplessly, he watched as Legolas’ shivering grew more intense, and another sharp cry of torment from said elf was like a dagger through the heart.
“How… How can I save you?” Aragorn was petrified, as the knowledge that he was losing the man he loved seemed to at last sink in. “Legolas, Legolas, you cannot leave me!”
Legolas finally turned to face Aragorn, who was horrified to find that his lips were blue and his forehead was now covered in cold sweat. “There is… nothing you can do. You are bound to her now. And you offer yourself willingly to her, as I once did you… as I still do you.”
“I… I will go to Lord Elrond! He shall heal you, my love!”
“Nay,” Legolas protested, albeit weakly. “Nothing can save me, Estel. If an elf were to be saved from a broken heart, he must be bound to the one he loves, or to one who so willingly offers himself, and will be bound to that person for all his days. But I will not do so!” Legolas was overcome with a coughing fit before he could continue. “I will not spend the days of eternity pining for you while bound to another. ‘Tis unthinkable!”
Aragorn was crying now, tears of pain and regret falling down his cheeks. “No, my love, no, you must not leave me so.”
Despite his suffering, Legolas managed an enervated smile, finding in him the strength to finish the song, the lament of a love once lost. “I know when I die, you’ll be on my mind, and I’ll love you…”
Legolas started to cough again, then, and his body shook violently as his voice failed him. His eyes glazed over, and his arms went rigid by his side, almost as if trying to ward off some unbidden danger.
“You forgot the always.” Aragorn whispered, as Legolas’ fit seemed to subside somewhat later on. He pulled the elf into his arms quickly, frowning when there was no response.
“Legolas?” Aragorn’s voice was now wavering slightly, and he inhaled deeply as he looked into Legolas’ glazed eyes. They were missing the love and fire he always had loved, the emotions that had made them so unique.
Aragorn hugged the lifeless body to his own, hoping to warm it, to spark a reaction, anything.
//There is always hope.//
“There is no hope without you, Legolas.” Aragorn’s voice was naught but a whisper. “You must not leave me.” A tear ran down Aragorn’s cheek and dropped on the elf’s. “Legolas…”
The forest grew unbearably silent, almost as though mourning the death of the fine Mirkwood prince, and the stillness weighed heavily on Aragorn’s shoulders. An elf had died for him. His elf. His Legolas.
His love.
Moments of grave quiet passed before the trees carried Legolas’ melody into the forest and the wind caressed the pale cheek gently.
Aragorn held him close, his lips at Legolas’ ears. “Always and forever, my love. Always and forever.”
-fin-
*Yes, I realize there were no such thing as movies, then, but go with me here.
**This song is Have I Told You Lately by Rod Stewart.
