So JUSTIN shows up (I love how you're introducing the characters, giving them a little build-up each time - like, they need a co-worker, they can't find one, Justin shows up and is perfect!) OMG, and then he's a complete Chris fanboy and they end up with that FRIENDSHIP, and I love when AUs have traces of canon in them, I love it SO MUCH. You handled that so well.
(AND HOW EXCITED DID I GET AT THE FIRST MENTION OF PIZZA DELIVERY? BE GLAD YOU DIDN'T SEE ME GRIN LIKE A COMPLETE IDIOT.)
Oh man, I REALLY loved this line btw:
Justin drops his head on Chris' shoulder. "Like an old married couple," he says, in a stage-whisper. His hair tickles Chris' cheek, and his hand is warm on Chris' thigh when Chris grins.
Because it's SO, like, friendly, but then there's a total undertone to it. There's TOTALLY something brewing there, and I love how you establish that right away. (As well as things like JC NOT WANTING to do porn with Chris around, and walking out of the room when Justin and Chris get it on. ♥ CHRISTOPHER, HOW SO BLIND?)
And DAVID COOK. AHAHAHAHA, NAT. Man, I got nothing. Of course Justin is a total fanboy, and OF COURSE Cook ends up saving the day. You are too cute. ♥ ♥
Dude, your characters, okay. I love that you can feel Lance's and Chris' history with each other, how they're communicating without words right from the beginning, and how Lance can TELL Chris all those things he doesn't want to hear. THIS LINE TOTALLY KILLED ME BTW: He needs to stop listening to the voice in his head that keeps telling him that Lance should be the first person to hear things like this - good things. Lance is a bitch on his best days. AHAHAHHAHA SO TRUUUUUUE AND I LOVE IT.
(AND THEN THERE'S ALSO THE BRIAN/AJ, OKAY? WHICH YOU KNOW REDUCED ME TO A DROOLING MESS. OMG PRISON AU AJ/BRIAN, I NEED A SPIN-OFF MORE THAN OXYGEN, NATALIE. OMG Brian being all 'it's not about the money' KILLED ME so hard. God, your Brian. ♥ ♥)
Oh my God, and then - THEN. CHRIS, with his huge fucking balls, goes and BUYS the store. I will get into your Chris in the next part, but omg, he's putting everything on the line, all his money and he's so nervous but he's doing it anyway. And then the WHOLE THING breaks down on him. GOD, NAT, YOU ARE TOO CRUELLY BRILLIANT. EXCEPT STRIKE OUT THAT BRILLIANT AND JUST GO WITH CRUEL. EXCEPT STRIKE OUT THAT CRUEL AND JUST GO WITH BRILLIANT.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2008-12-07 06:41 pm (UTC)(AND HOW EXCITED DID I GET AT THE FIRST MENTION OF PIZZA DELIVERY? BE GLAD YOU DIDN'T SEE ME GRIN LIKE A COMPLETE IDIOT.)
Oh man, I REALLY loved this line btw:
Justin drops his head on Chris' shoulder. "Like an old married couple," he says, in a stage-whisper. His hair tickles Chris' cheek, and his hand is warm on Chris' thigh when Chris grins.
Because it's SO, like, friendly, but then there's a total undertone to it. There's TOTALLY something brewing there, and I love how you establish that right away. (As well as things like JC NOT WANTING to do porn with Chris around, and walking out of the room when Justin and Chris get it on. ♥ CHRISTOPHER, HOW SO BLIND?)
And DAVID COOK. AHAHAHAHA, NAT. Man, I got nothing. Of course Justin is a total fanboy, and OF COURSE Cook ends up saving the day. You are too cute. ♥ ♥
Dude, your characters, okay. I love that you can feel Lance's and Chris' history with each other, how they're communicating without words right from the beginning, and how Lance can TELL Chris all those things he doesn't want to hear. THIS LINE TOTALLY KILLED ME BTW: He needs to stop listening to the voice in his head that keeps telling him that Lance should be the first person to hear things like this - good things. Lance is a bitch on his best days. AHAHAHHAHA SO TRUUUUUUE AND I LOVE IT.
(AND THEN THERE'S ALSO THE BRIAN/AJ, OKAY? WHICH YOU KNOW REDUCED ME TO A DROOLING MESS. OMG PRISON AU AJ/BRIAN, I NEED A SPIN-OFF MORE THAN OXYGEN, NATALIE. OMG Brian being all 'it's not about the money' KILLED ME so hard. God, your Brian. ♥ ♥)
Oh my God, and then - THEN. CHRIS, with his huge fucking balls, goes and BUYS the store. I will get into your Chris in the next part, but omg, he's putting everything on the line, all his money and he's so nervous but he's doing it anyway. And then the WHOLE THING breaks down on him. GOD, NAT, YOU ARE TOO CRUELLY BRILLIANT. EXCEPT STRIKE OUT THAT BRILLIANT AND JUST GO WITH CRUEL. EXCEPT STRIKE OUT THAT CRUEL AND JUST GO WITH BRILLIANT.