I Wish You Love
Oct. 13th, 2003 05:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
amfiguree[N'sync] [Basez, Trickyfish, Timbertone] [G]
I Wish You Love
Lance thought about him often. He wondered if JC missed him the way he missed JC, if JC ever regretted letting him go, if JC ever wondered how he was doing the way Lance often wondered about JC, if JC ever wrote a song and thought of Lance the way he used to do, if JC would ever forget him…
Questions to which Lance doubted he would ever get the answers.
Then Lance would wonder how things had turned out this way. He wondered why N’sync had broken up, why he had ended up with Chris rather than with Joey, like everyone thought he would, how he had ended up with a loving boyfriend, a huge house, with everything he had ever wanted in his life.
Except JC.
He wondered if he was a selfish asshole for thinking the way that he was. Chris was everything he could ever want and more. So much more. Sighing, Lance reached out to switch on the radio. His mind was just beginning to wander again, before he snapped back to reality, hearing JC’s name being mentioned over the radio.
“And with us is JC Chasez, former member of boyband, N’sync. JC, you’ve been producing and writing a lot lately. And you’ve even released an album of your own, which has, surprisingly, sold more copies than Justin Timberlake’s CD.”
Lance could just see the blush creeping onto JC’s cheeks. What the hell do you mean surprisingly? JC has more talent than Justin could ever DREAM of having. And more passion. And… and… Lance cut his own thoughts short, leaning forward intently, hoping to hear more.
“And in your album, you release this special song that goes out to Lance, Joey, Justin and Chris, all the former members of N’sync.” Lance clutched the armrests tightly, his knuckles turning white, “And it’s your rendition of ‘I Wish You Love’ by Laura Fygi. What’s up with that?”
JC cleared his throat, “Um. Well, this was always one of my favourite songs. The tune was kinda jazz and kinda blues… and it was easy to sing. And… I wanted to dedicate it to someone very special and close to my heart.”
“And who is this mystery person?”
Lance’s breath hitched in his throat as he waited anxiously for JC’s answer.
JC laughed, “If I told you, then it wouldn’t be called a mystery person, would it?” Lance could even see the mirth twinkling in JC’s blue eyes. “This person is someone I love very deeply, and I’d like that person to know that I often think of what could have been. But that I don’t regret a thing. I never regretted the time we spent together. Or giving that person to a better guy. These things make me remember that I can’t always give everyone everything they’re asking for, everything they need. But I want that person to know that… well, you’re thought of often, and I’ll never forget you and that… I’ll always love you.”
Lance could hear the slight quaver in JC’s voice, and he felt tears spring to his eyes. “So, this next song, I suppose, goes out to this mystery girl?”
“This next song… it goes out to this mystery person, yes. I love you, Spikes.”
Lance rubbed the tears from his eyes quickly, smiling at the name JC had once thought up for him. “Love you too, baby,” he whispered back, praying, wishing that JC could hear him.
And then a soft piano melody began playing in the background. And Lance recognized the first few chords, before he was swept away by the power, the passion, the emotion in JC’s voice.
“I wish you bluebirds in the Spring, to give your heart a song to sing…”
JC grinned widely as he placed the bluebird gently into Lance’s cupped hands. The shocked expression on his boyfriend’s face was enough to send his heart soaring. “You like it, Lance?”
“Like it? Josh… this… it’s beautiful.” Lance smiled tenderly as the bird began to chirp, frightened. “Hey there. Don’t be scared.” With his index finger, Lance brushed the bird’s feathers gently, calming it. “Hi little bird…” When Lance next looked up, his green eyes were filled with joy. “Josh… it’s… you’re… thank you. Just… thank you, so much.”
“Don’t thank me, Spikes,” JC smiled, “Just glad you like it.”
“And then a kiss, but more than this, I wish you love.”
JC’s warm lips brushed Lance’s softly and Lance smiled, closing his eyes, waiting to feel the bliss that was JC. And when JC finally crushed his lips over Lance’s, the blond moaned softly, and he thought, for a second, that this was probably what Heaven felt like.
“And in July, a lemonade, to cool you in some leafy glade,”
“Josh?”
“Here, Spikes.”
“Thanks…” Lance lifted the drink cautiously to his lips and took an uncertain sip. He smiled widely when he realized JC had made the lemonade exactly how he liked it. Not too sweet and not too sour. “It’s perfect.”
“Yeah,” JC agreed, sitting next to Lance, “Exactly what you’d need on a hot day like this.”
“Love you.”
“Love you more.”
“I wish you health, and more than wealth, I wish you love.”
“Look after yourself, Lance.”
“I will, Josh…”
“Don’t cry, Lance. Shh… Baby, I’ll be back in a couple days, okay? Here, make sure you take your vitamins and stuff. I’ll be back home soon.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
“My breaking heart and I agree that you and I could never be,”
“Why Josh?” Lance cried, his heart shattering. “Don’t leave me like this!”
“I don’t… I don’t want to, Lance. But it’s better this way, don’t you see?”
“No, I don’t see!”
“Lance…” JC’s eyes filled with tears as he tried to pull out of his boyfriend’s grasp. “We’re in two different worlds. I want you to be happy, but my career is important to me and I don’t want to give that up. I promised my dad that I wouldn’t. I have to keep that promise now he’s gone. And I don’t like seeing you worry about me. I don’t like seeing the dark eye bags under your eyes after an entire sleepless night anymore. I don’t deserve you, Lance. Chris would be so much better for you.”
“No, Josh… No…” Lance cried as JC drove out of the house, out of Lance’s life.
“So with my best, my very best, I set you free.”
“Take care of him, Kirkpatrick. 'Cause if I hear ONE word about him being hurt, I will personally hunt down and kick your ass. Got it?”
“Sir, yes sir.”
“Lance? Don’t let him bully you, understand?”
“Thank you… Josh.”
“… Bye you two. Keep in touch.” And JC walked out of Lance’s life. For the second time.
“I wish you shelter from the storm, a cozy fire to keep you warm,”
“Chris?”
“Yeah.”
“You got Lance’s dream house?”
“You heard?”
“Heck yeah,” there was real excitement in JC’s voice. “How’s Lance reacting?”
“Surprised. Cool. I don’t know. He just really, really, likes it.”
“Good,” JC let out an audible sigh of relief. “Tell him I said congratulations.”
“Will do.”
“Bye Chris.”
“But most of all, when snowflakes fall, I wish you love.”
“Lance? It’s snowing.”
“Yep, it sure is.”
There was a pause before JC spoke again, softly, “I hope you’re happy.”
Lance smiled at the sincerity in JC’s tone. “I am Josh,” he whispered, glancing over at Chris’ sleeping figure. “I am.”
“My breaking heart and I agree that you and I could never be,”
“I’m not… over him, Justin,” JC said softly, glancing over at Lance. He managed a weak smile at the contentment on Lance’s face as he and Chris curled up into each other on the small couch, sleeping.
Justin patted JC gently on the shoulder, inwardly flinching at the intense pain on JC's handsome features. “You know it’s for the best, Jace.”
“Yeah,” JC whispered back, softly, and Justin’s heart ached at the unspoken loss in JC’s tone as the brunette looked over at Chris’ arm wound protectively around Lance’s waist. “It is.”
“So with my best, my very best, I set you free.”
JC forced a bright smile only Justin saw through, walking over to Lance as the blond entered the room with Chris. “Hey, you two! Looking good,” JC’s tone was chipper and Justin sighed deeply when he saw the flash of misery in JC’s eyes as he saw Lance and Chris’ interlocked fingers. “Glad you could make it. How d’ya find the house?”
Lance looked around the room, smiling when he saw it was exactly the kind of room JC would have built. “Gorgeous.”
A pang of nausea punched JC in the gut and he forced another weak smile at the look of awe on Lance’s face. “Yeah. Gorgeous,” he said softly, smiling sadly and walking away to entertain Joey and Brianna, leaving Lance and Chris with identical looks of confusion on their faces.
And Justin wondered, fleetingly, if JC was talking about the house, or about Lance.
“I wish you shelter from the storm, a cozy fire to keep you warm,”
“Hell, Justin, I don’t care, all right?”
“Jace, look, you can’t do this!”
“Why not?”
“Because, Jace, it’s killing you.” Justin’s tone was quiet but firm. “I know you still love Lance, I know you wish you could be with him, that you were the one cuddling up against him beside the fireplace at night instead of Chris. But I also know you don’t regret it, because you can see that he’s happier now, and that this is the kind of life he deserves. And you know, because of your career, that you can’t give him that. Not the kind of security Chris is offering him right now. THAT’S why you can’t do this. You can’t go over there to see Lance. Not even if he invited you. Because you’re gonna kill yourself trying not to hold him, and I know you won’t TOUCH him, and when you come back you’re gonna cry yourself to sleep AGAIN. I don’t want to see you doing that to yourself anymore.” Justin shook his head. “Especially not on Christmas eve, JC.”
“I can’t… help it, Justin,” JC broke down and Justin caught him just as he collapsed. “I just can’t. I know letting Chris have him was the best decision I’ve ever made in my pathetic life, but god, it hurts so bad. I want him here, Justin. I want him with me. Why is that so difficult? When I wrote that stupid Christmas song, it was FOR him, and every time I think of it, I… I just…” JC shook his head, overcome by tears.
Justin stroked JC’s head softly, sighing with relief when the older man finally fell asleep, fresh tears still glistening on his cheeks.
When Joey came in and held Justin, Justin broke apart as well. He lay JC down on the sofa and returned to Joey’s embrace, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s neck. “God, Joe, why is this happening to him?”
Joey buried his face in Justin’s shoulder, “He loves Lance, baby. Because he loves Lance.”
“But most of all, when snowflakes fall, I wish you love.”
“Bye Lance.”
JC collapsed into the chair as he put the phone down, his eyes closed. He buried his face into the arm of the chair, wrapping his arms around his head protectively. “Jace?” JC looked up when he heard Justin’s voice. Justin came over often now, since JC was off tour, just to make sure he was all right.
“I’m fine, Justin,” JC reassured his ex-bandmate. “You should go home. Joey’ll be missing you.”
“The big oaf can look after himself.”
JC managed a weak smile. “Yeah. I guess so.” Justin sat down next to JC, staring at the older man intently. “How come he can still get to me like this, Justin?” JC asked softly, after a few minutes of comfortable silence.
“You love him, JC,” Justin answered softly, thinking of the conversation he and Joey had had a few months back. “You love him.”
“I know. I do. I mean, how can I not?” JC sighed, closing his eyes. “I just don’t understand why I let him hurt me like this. I was the one who initiated our breakup, after all.”
“It’s for the best, JC.”
“I love him.”
“Yeah. Yeah you do.”
As Lance listened to the song, he closed his eyes and rested his head on the chair, wondering when he had become less happy with Chris and happier when he heard from JC. He thought he had gotten over the blue-eyed brunette, but apparently, he hadn’t. “Why, why, WHY is everything like this?”
The song ended then, and Lance strained long enough to hear JC whisper, “I love you, Spikes.”
He sat up straight, winded, feeling as though he had been punched in the gut. He had heard a pain in JC’s voice so raw, so fresh, that it was as though he had been pierced right through the heart himself. “Oh god.”
“That was beautiful. Thank you, JC. For those of you who just tuned in, that was JC Chasez with the latest single off his new album-”
Lance clicked the radio off. He couldn’t take listening to it anymore, couldn’t take listening to JC’s voice, couldn’t stand knowing he had broken JC’s heart as much as JC had broken his, couldn’t bear knowing that JC was only a phone call away, and yet there seemed to be a wall too high to scale between them.
So near yet so far…
Lance closed his eyes, trembling. He hadn’t gotten over the shock of learning that JC still loved him, of realizing that Chris wasn’t enough ONLY because he wasn’t a certain bright blue-eyed, spazzy sleepyhead.
“I’m sorry, Chris, I’m so sorry,” he said aloud, to the empty room. “I just… I still love Josh… I love him so, so much. There’s so much I want to say to him. I want to hold him and kiss him and have him right here with me. I want him to tell me everything will be all right, I just want this nightmare to end…” Lance dissolved into tears, falling into a fitful sleep.
Chris walked softly into the room, not wanting to wake his lover. Tears were glistening in his warm chocolate brown eyes and he stopped in front of the man he loved more than life itself, his hands reaching out to trace the patterns of Lance’s tears tenderly, gently, lovingly.
“I wish...” Chris could hardly speak. The lump in his throat prevented him from doing so. “Lance... I love you so much.”
But he jerked his hands away from Lance’s face when Lance shifted slightly, as though he had been burnt.
And when Lance muttered, ‘I love you, Josh,’ ever so softly, Chris slid down to his knees and let the tears come.
-fin-
I Wish You Love
Lance thought about him often. He wondered if JC missed him the way he missed JC, if JC ever regretted letting him go, if JC ever wondered how he was doing the way Lance often wondered about JC, if JC ever wrote a song and thought of Lance the way he used to do, if JC would ever forget him…
Questions to which Lance doubted he would ever get the answers.
Then Lance would wonder how things had turned out this way. He wondered why N’sync had broken up, why he had ended up with Chris rather than with Joey, like everyone thought he would, how he had ended up with a loving boyfriend, a huge house, with everything he had ever wanted in his life.
Except JC.
He wondered if he was a selfish asshole for thinking the way that he was. Chris was everything he could ever want and more. So much more. Sighing, Lance reached out to switch on the radio. His mind was just beginning to wander again, before he snapped back to reality, hearing JC’s name being mentioned over the radio.
“And with us is JC Chasez, former member of boyband, N’sync. JC, you’ve been producing and writing a lot lately. And you’ve even released an album of your own, which has, surprisingly, sold more copies than Justin Timberlake’s CD.”
Lance could just see the blush creeping onto JC’s cheeks. What the hell do you mean surprisingly? JC has more talent than Justin could ever DREAM of having. And more passion. And… and… Lance cut his own thoughts short, leaning forward intently, hoping to hear more.
“And in your album, you release this special song that goes out to Lance, Joey, Justin and Chris, all the former members of N’sync.” Lance clutched the armrests tightly, his knuckles turning white, “And it’s your rendition of ‘I Wish You Love’ by Laura Fygi. What’s up with that?”
JC cleared his throat, “Um. Well, this was always one of my favourite songs. The tune was kinda jazz and kinda blues… and it was easy to sing. And… I wanted to dedicate it to someone very special and close to my heart.”
“And who is this mystery person?”
Lance’s breath hitched in his throat as he waited anxiously for JC’s answer.
JC laughed, “If I told you, then it wouldn’t be called a mystery person, would it?” Lance could even see the mirth twinkling in JC’s blue eyes. “This person is someone I love very deeply, and I’d like that person to know that I often think of what could have been. But that I don’t regret a thing. I never regretted the time we spent together. Or giving that person to a better guy. These things make me remember that I can’t always give everyone everything they’re asking for, everything they need. But I want that person to know that… well, you’re thought of often, and I’ll never forget you and that… I’ll always love you.”
Lance could hear the slight quaver in JC’s voice, and he felt tears spring to his eyes. “So, this next song, I suppose, goes out to this mystery girl?”
“This next song… it goes out to this mystery person, yes. I love you, Spikes.”
Lance rubbed the tears from his eyes quickly, smiling at the name JC had once thought up for him. “Love you too, baby,” he whispered back, praying, wishing that JC could hear him.
And then a soft piano melody began playing in the background. And Lance recognized the first few chords, before he was swept away by the power, the passion, the emotion in JC’s voice.
“I wish you bluebirds in the Spring, to give your heart a song to sing…”
JC grinned widely as he placed the bluebird gently into Lance’s cupped hands. The shocked expression on his boyfriend’s face was enough to send his heart soaring. “You like it, Lance?”
“Like it? Josh… this… it’s beautiful.” Lance smiled tenderly as the bird began to chirp, frightened. “Hey there. Don’t be scared.” With his index finger, Lance brushed the bird’s feathers gently, calming it. “Hi little bird…” When Lance next looked up, his green eyes were filled with joy. “Josh… it’s… you’re… thank you. Just… thank you, so much.”
“Don’t thank me, Spikes,” JC smiled, “Just glad you like it.”
“And then a kiss, but more than this, I wish you love.”
JC’s warm lips brushed Lance’s softly and Lance smiled, closing his eyes, waiting to feel the bliss that was JC. And when JC finally crushed his lips over Lance’s, the blond moaned softly, and he thought, for a second, that this was probably what Heaven felt like.
“And in July, a lemonade, to cool you in some leafy glade,”
“Josh?”
“Here, Spikes.”
“Thanks…” Lance lifted the drink cautiously to his lips and took an uncertain sip. He smiled widely when he realized JC had made the lemonade exactly how he liked it. Not too sweet and not too sour. “It’s perfect.”
“Yeah,” JC agreed, sitting next to Lance, “Exactly what you’d need on a hot day like this.”
“Love you.”
“Love you more.”
“I wish you health, and more than wealth, I wish you love.”
“Look after yourself, Lance.”
“I will, Josh…”
“Don’t cry, Lance. Shh… Baby, I’ll be back in a couple days, okay? Here, make sure you take your vitamins and stuff. I’ll be back home soon.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
“My breaking heart and I agree that you and I could never be,”
“Why Josh?” Lance cried, his heart shattering. “Don’t leave me like this!”
“I don’t… I don’t want to, Lance. But it’s better this way, don’t you see?”
“No, I don’t see!”
“Lance…” JC’s eyes filled with tears as he tried to pull out of his boyfriend’s grasp. “We’re in two different worlds. I want you to be happy, but my career is important to me and I don’t want to give that up. I promised my dad that I wouldn’t. I have to keep that promise now he’s gone. And I don’t like seeing you worry about me. I don’t like seeing the dark eye bags under your eyes after an entire sleepless night anymore. I don’t deserve you, Lance. Chris would be so much better for you.”
“No, Josh… No…” Lance cried as JC drove out of the house, out of Lance’s life.
“So with my best, my very best, I set you free.”
“Take care of him, Kirkpatrick. 'Cause if I hear ONE word about him being hurt, I will personally hunt down and kick your ass. Got it?”
“Sir, yes sir.”
“Lance? Don’t let him bully you, understand?”
“Thank you… Josh.”
“… Bye you two. Keep in touch.” And JC walked out of Lance’s life. For the second time.
“I wish you shelter from the storm, a cozy fire to keep you warm,”
“Chris?”
“Yeah.”
“You got Lance’s dream house?”
“You heard?”
“Heck yeah,” there was real excitement in JC’s voice. “How’s Lance reacting?”
“Surprised. Cool. I don’t know. He just really, really, likes it.”
“Good,” JC let out an audible sigh of relief. “Tell him I said congratulations.”
“Will do.”
“Bye Chris.”
“But most of all, when snowflakes fall, I wish you love.”
“Lance? It’s snowing.”
“Yep, it sure is.”
There was a pause before JC spoke again, softly, “I hope you’re happy.”
Lance smiled at the sincerity in JC’s tone. “I am Josh,” he whispered, glancing over at Chris’ sleeping figure. “I am.”
“My breaking heart and I agree that you and I could never be,”
“I’m not… over him, Justin,” JC said softly, glancing over at Lance. He managed a weak smile at the contentment on Lance’s face as he and Chris curled up into each other on the small couch, sleeping.
Justin patted JC gently on the shoulder, inwardly flinching at the intense pain on JC's handsome features. “You know it’s for the best, Jace.”
“Yeah,” JC whispered back, softly, and Justin’s heart ached at the unspoken loss in JC’s tone as the brunette looked over at Chris’ arm wound protectively around Lance’s waist. “It is.”
“So with my best, my very best, I set you free.”
JC forced a bright smile only Justin saw through, walking over to Lance as the blond entered the room with Chris. “Hey, you two! Looking good,” JC’s tone was chipper and Justin sighed deeply when he saw the flash of misery in JC’s eyes as he saw Lance and Chris’ interlocked fingers. “Glad you could make it. How d’ya find the house?”
Lance looked around the room, smiling when he saw it was exactly the kind of room JC would have built. “Gorgeous.”
A pang of nausea punched JC in the gut and he forced another weak smile at the look of awe on Lance’s face. “Yeah. Gorgeous,” he said softly, smiling sadly and walking away to entertain Joey and Brianna, leaving Lance and Chris with identical looks of confusion on their faces.
And Justin wondered, fleetingly, if JC was talking about the house, or about Lance.
“I wish you shelter from the storm, a cozy fire to keep you warm,”
“Hell, Justin, I don’t care, all right?”
“Jace, look, you can’t do this!”
“Why not?”
“Because, Jace, it’s killing you.” Justin’s tone was quiet but firm. “I know you still love Lance, I know you wish you could be with him, that you were the one cuddling up against him beside the fireplace at night instead of Chris. But I also know you don’t regret it, because you can see that he’s happier now, and that this is the kind of life he deserves. And you know, because of your career, that you can’t give him that. Not the kind of security Chris is offering him right now. THAT’S why you can’t do this. You can’t go over there to see Lance. Not even if he invited you. Because you’re gonna kill yourself trying not to hold him, and I know you won’t TOUCH him, and when you come back you’re gonna cry yourself to sleep AGAIN. I don’t want to see you doing that to yourself anymore.” Justin shook his head. “Especially not on Christmas eve, JC.”
“I can’t… help it, Justin,” JC broke down and Justin caught him just as he collapsed. “I just can’t. I know letting Chris have him was the best decision I’ve ever made in my pathetic life, but god, it hurts so bad. I want him here, Justin. I want him with me. Why is that so difficult? When I wrote that stupid Christmas song, it was FOR him, and every time I think of it, I… I just…” JC shook his head, overcome by tears.
Justin stroked JC’s head softly, sighing with relief when the older man finally fell asleep, fresh tears still glistening on his cheeks.
When Joey came in and held Justin, Justin broke apart as well. He lay JC down on the sofa and returned to Joey’s embrace, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s neck. “God, Joe, why is this happening to him?”
Joey buried his face in Justin’s shoulder, “He loves Lance, baby. Because he loves Lance.”
“But most of all, when snowflakes fall, I wish you love.”
“Bye Lance.”
JC collapsed into the chair as he put the phone down, his eyes closed. He buried his face into the arm of the chair, wrapping his arms around his head protectively. “Jace?” JC looked up when he heard Justin’s voice. Justin came over often now, since JC was off tour, just to make sure he was all right.
“I’m fine, Justin,” JC reassured his ex-bandmate. “You should go home. Joey’ll be missing you.”
“The big oaf can look after himself.”
JC managed a weak smile. “Yeah. I guess so.” Justin sat down next to JC, staring at the older man intently. “How come he can still get to me like this, Justin?” JC asked softly, after a few minutes of comfortable silence.
“You love him, JC,” Justin answered softly, thinking of the conversation he and Joey had had a few months back. “You love him.”
“I know. I do. I mean, how can I not?” JC sighed, closing his eyes. “I just don’t understand why I let him hurt me like this. I was the one who initiated our breakup, after all.”
“It’s for the best, JC.”
“I love him.”
“Yeah. Yeah you do.”
As Lance listened to the song, he closed his eyes and rested his head on the chair, wondering when he had become less happy with Chris and happier when he heard from JC. He thought he had gotten over the blue-eyed brunette, but apparently, he hadn’t. “Why, why, WHY is everything like this?”
The song ended then, and Lance strained long enough to hear JC whisper, “I love you, Spikes.”
He sat up straight, winded, feeling as though he had been punched in the gut. He had heard a pain in JC’s voice so raw, so fresh, that it was as though he had been pierced right through the heart himself. “Oh god.”
“That was beautiful. Thank you, JC. For those of you who just tuned in, that was JC Chasez with the latest single off his new album-”
Lance clicked the radio off. He couldn’t take listening to it anymore, couldn’t take listening to JC’s voice, couldn’t stand knowing he had broken JC’s heart as much as JC had broken his, couldn’t bear knowing that JC was only a phone call away, and yet there seemed to be a wall too high to scale between them.
So near yet so far…
Lance closed his eyes, trembling. He hadn’t gotten over the shock of learning that JC still loved him, of realizing that Chris wasn’t enough ONLY because he wasn’t a certain bright blue-eyed, spazzy sleepyhead.
“I’m sorry, Chris, I’m so sorry,” he said aloud, to the empty room. “I just… I still love Josh… I love him so, so much. There’s so much I want to say to him. I want to hold him and kiss him and have him right here with me. I want him to tell me everything will be all right, I just want this nightmare to end…” Lance dissolved into tears, falling into a fitful sleep.
Chris walked softly into the room, not wanting to wake his lover. Tears were glistening in his warm chocolate brown eyes and he stopped in front of the man he loved more than life itself, his hands reaching out to trace the patterns of Lance’s tears tenderly, gently, lovingly.
“I wish...” Chris could hardly speak. The lump in his throat prevented him from doing so. “Lance... I love you so much.”
But he jerked his hands away from Lance’s face when Lance shifted slightly, as though he had been burnt.
And when Lance muttered, ‘I love you, Josh,’ ever so softly, Chris slid down to his knees and let the tears come.
-fin-
