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amfiguree[N'sync] [Basez] [G]
Love, Me
Author’s note: Kay, right now, I’m listening to this song over and over like crazy. I’ve practically remembered the lyrics by heart! Gosh, it’s such a nice, nice, NICE song! Obviously, I’ve been inspired. This is my second songfic, the first one being ‘Gone’. The difference this time though, is that it’s an AU fanfic this time, and the time frame is set in 1980, where Josh and Lance have a farm together. The title is stolen from the song name. Read on!
“Grandpa!”
Josh smiled as his fifteen-year-old grandson ran up and gave him a hug. “Hello there.”
“Hi dad,” Tracey smiled warmly at her father and kissed him affectionately on the cheek. “Damon’s out back parking the car.”
Josh nodded as he hugged his adopted daughter. “I almost forgot Damon was here,” Josh chuckled as he shook his head. “Your dad’s getting old.”
“You’ve just got a lot on your mind,” Tracey said softly, a frown creasing her forehead. “How is daddy?”
Josh smiled wistfully as Tracey said ‘daddy’. The mere mention of the word made him remember the old days. But then, as quickly as it had come, the smile vanished. “Not very good. Trace, we might lose him.”
Tracey’s eyes widened with shock as she flung her arms around Josh. “Dad! We… we can’t! Oh… oh god.”
Josh rubbed her back soothingly, as he had when she was younger. “He’s seventy-three, Tracey. It’s time to let go.”
“But…”
Josh shook his head sadly and the simple gesture silenced Tracey. “Damon can help me in the kitchen,” she whispered finally, her eyes red-rimmed, puffy and watery. “Zachary,” Tracey addressed her son, “Go play in the garden. Don’t disturb your grandpa.”
Josh held his wrinkled hand out to his grandson and shook his head at Tracey. “Let him come with me. I have something to show him.”
Zachary smiled widely, eagerly, and followed his grandfather after Tracey nodded her approval.
“Hey babe,” Josh whispered as he bent his thin form over the blond in bed. “Are you feeling any better?”
Lance shook his head weakly and forced a smile. “I don’t think I’m gonna get better, Josh.” Long ago, they had promised each other never to lie about how they felt, both physically and emotionally. And that was a promise that would never be broken.
“It’s okay,” Josh murmured as he pressed his lips gently against Lance’s. He smiled as he straightened and said, “Don’t feel guilty for leaving me, baby. Don’t fight if you can’t. No matter what, you’ll always be here, right?” Josh placed his hand over his heart and Lance smiled.
“Love you.”
“You too.” Josh said hoarsely, as he left the room and beckoned to Zachary, who had been standing at the door all along and was accustomed to seeing his grandfathers kiss, to follow him.
When they reached the stables where Josh kept the horses, Josh pulled something out from the coat that hung against the huge wooden door. He licked his lips and gave the curious teenager the piece of paper.
“Boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago, Lance’s father didn’t like me at all – which is understandable, considering I’m a GUY,” Josh let out a soft chuckle. “but I loved Lance with all my heart and soul. He was everything good in my life, and still is. You and your mother are NOT forgotten, of course. But Lance… he was just there all along, you know?
“Anyway, Lance’s dad wouldn’t let us be together. He didn’t want the town to know that Lance was a gay.” Josh’s eyes darkened for a moment before he cleared his throat and continued, “I was… angry isn’t even the word. I don’t know what came over me when Lance told me what his father said, but I felt so choked. And I almost cried right there and then.”
A small smile played on Josh’s face as he remembered what happened next. Zachary, who was sitting on the haystack, waited anxiously for what his grandfather had to say. “Lance couldn’t stand the separation either. So we came up with this ridiculous plan…”
This time, Josh laughed out loud before he croaked out, “We were going to elope together.”
Zachary’s eyes bulged and Josh again chortled at the look of utter bewilderment and shock on his grandson’s face. “Yep, we were all set. And we were supposed to meet under the tallest tree in Layson Park. I remember that day like it was yesterday…”
Josh’s voice trailed off and a pensive, almost longing, expression played on his wrinkled yet handsome features. “We had everything planned out then. We would run away, just run aimlessly, till we reached the next town, wherever it was, and then get married and live there forever.
“We decided we would run away the next night at twilight. I was like an excited squirrel the whole day, jumping at the smallest noises and kissing my mom again and again. Of course, I reached the park at exactly twelve that night with my clothes packed in a bundle and all my savings in my pocket – mind you, I was about twenty at the time and I had saved quite a bit of money, miser that I am.” Zachary giggled at the picture Josh had painted of himself. “But then when I reached there, I didn’t see anyone.”
Josh sighed and shook his head, “I don’t mind admitting, I was really worried. ‘What if Lance changed his mind?’ I thought to myself. So I hung around and waited. Waited and waited and waited. Till five the next morning. He never did show. So I went right up to the tree, ready to punch it, just do something to vent my anger. And guess what?”
Zachary shot his grandfather a questioning look. “I found that letter right there,” Josh grinned boyishly as Zachary lifted the letter up. “Go on,” Josh pressed softly, yet urgently, as Zachary began unfolding the item in question hesitantly. “Read it.”
Swallowing hard, the young teenager began, shakily, to read the words written neatly on the pretty piece of notepad. “If you get there before I do, don’t give up on me. I’ll meet you when my chores are through; I don’t know how long I’ll be. But I’m not going to let you down, darling, wait and see…”
“And between now and then, till I see you again, I’ll be loving you. Love, me.” Josh finished softly.
Zachary looked up from the letter and saw the look of misery in his grandfather’s eyes. “What happened then, grandpa?”
Josh took in a deep breath before continuing. “Well, Lance showed up eventually. In this town. Where I was waiting for him.”
Zachary shot Josh a disbelieving look. “This town? Greenslore? No way!”
Josh let out a throaty laugh before giving Zachary a cheeky, amused grin. “Yes way. And we bought this farm and adopted your mom. She was only twelve then.” A slow smile crossed the blue-eyed creature’s face and then it was gone. “It’s been twenty-four years since then… twenty four years.”
Zachary handed Josh the letter wordlessly and watched as the weary old man hid the letter back in the old coat pocket, acting as though the torn piece of paper was a treasure, just as he had said earlier – like a miser.
Zachary couldn’t stop his tears. The tears that kept clouding his vision. They hadn’t even had their dinner yet… it had been THAT short a period but his granddad… his granddad was gone.
It was ten o’clock now. But they were having a simple yet meaningful funeral at the church that was a five minute walk from the farm. Zachary ignored the gnawing feeling in his stomach as Josh held tighter to his small hand. He could feel the wrinkles on Josh’s hard hand as they walked together and Zachary knew the hardness had come because these hands had been used to work. Alongside with Lance’s hands. They were both wonderful, WONDERFUL people. Zachary only wished he had been able to spend more time with Lance.
If only he had been able to help his granddad in some way, any way. If only he had known about his grandparents’ history sooner. If only his mom and dad had been able to do something about Lance’s condition. If only his grandfather didn’t have to suffer the rest of his life alone. If only Lance would come back and say it was all a joke, say he wasn’t dead. If only Zachary could shake the sick feeling in his stomach at the sight of Lance’s coffin. If only his grandfather wouldn’t seem so calm. If only, if only, if only…
Too late for if only’s now.
Zachary watched, as if in slow motion, his parents and the rest of the villagers from Greenslore enter the church. Tracey pulling gently on Josh’s hand and telling him to go into the church, Josh shaking his head slowly and smiling sadly, Tracey nodding as if she understood before walking away slowly, knowing that Josh wanted Zachary with him.
“Your mother doesn’t know about the elopement,” Josh said softly at last, as the mass begun, and just as Zachary could bear the silence no longer, feeling as though it was choking him.
“I know,” Zachary whispered. “She would have told me earlier if she knew.” Zachary glanced up at Josh. “Why didn’t you tell her?”
“How could I tell her, Zachary? How was I supposed to explain?” Josh sighed and shook his head. “Lance and I agreed not to tell her, but there’s something about you…” Josh reached out and placed his fingers gently on the side of Zachary’s face. “You look so much like Lance… I just had to tell you.”
Zachary smiled ruefully. “Mom always said I looked like granddad.”
“Yeah,” Josh said softly. “Yeah, you do.”
All throughout the mass, Josh and Zachary had stood in silence, hands clasped together, lips unmoving, yet hearts praying for their lost loved one. As the father ended the ritual, Zachary looked up at his grandpa and was shocked at the tears in his eyes.
He could barely make out the words that Josh was mouthing as tears glistened in the depths of those intense azure crystals. Finally, Zachary caught on.
“If you get there before I do, don’t give up on me. I’ll meet you when my chores are through; I don’t know how long I’ll be. But I’m not going to let you down, darling, wait and see, and between now and then, till I see you again, I’ll be loving you. Love, me.”
As they left the church later that night, Zachary could still hear Josh’s words playing in his head. “Between now and then, till I see you again, I’ll be loving you. Love, me.”
-fin-
”Love Me” by Collin Raye
I read a note my grandma wrote
Back in nineteen twenty three
Grandpa kept it in his coat
And he showed it once to me
He said, “Boy, you might not understand
But a long, long time ago
Grandma’s daddy didn’t like me none
But I loved your grandma so
We had this crazy plan to meet
And run away together
Get married in the first town we came
To and live forever
But nailed to the tree where
We were supposed to meet
Instead I found this letter and this is what it said:
If you get there before I do
Don’t give up on me
I’ll meet you when my chores are through
I don’t know how long I’ll be
But I’m not gonna let you down
Darling, wait and see
And between now and then
Till I see you again
I’ll be loving you.
Love, me.”
I read those words just hours before
My grandma passed away
In the doorway of the church
Where me and grandpa stopped to pray
I know I’d never seen him cry
In all my fifteen years
But as he said these words to her
His eyes filled up with tears
“If you get there before I do
Don’t give up on me
I’ll meet you when my chores are through
I don’t know how long I’ll be
But I’m not gonna let you down
Darling, wait and see
And between now and then
Till I see you again
I’ll be loving you.
Love, me.”
Between now and then
Till I see you again
I’ll be loving you.
Love, me
Love, Me
Author’s note: Kay, right now, I’m listening to this song over and over like crazy. I’ve practically remembered the lyrics by heart! Gosh, it’s such a nice, nice, NICE song! Obviously, I’ve been inspired. This is my second songfic, the first one being ‘Gone’. The difference this time though, is that it’s an AU fanfic this time, and the time frame is set in 1980, where Josh and Lance have a farm together. The title is stolen from the song name. Read on!
“Grandpa!”
Josh smiled as his fifteen-year-old grandson ran up and gave him a hug. “Hello there.”
“Hi dad,” Tracey smiled warmly at her father and kissed him affectionately on the cheek. “Damon’s out back parking the car.”
Josh nodded as he hugged his adopted daughter. “I almost forgot Damon was here,” Josh chuckled as he shook his head. “Your dad’s getting old.”
“You’ve just got a lot on your mind,” Tracey said softly, a frown creasing her forehead. “How is daddy?”
Josh smiled wistfully as Tracey said ‘daddy’. The mere mention of the word made him remember the old days. But then, as quickly as it had come, the smile vanished. “Not very good. Trace, we might lose him.”
Tracey’s eyes widened with shock as she flung her arms around Josh. “Dad! We… we can’t! Oh… oh god.”
Josh rubbed her back soothingly, as he had when she was younger. “He’s seventy-three, Tracey. It’s time to let go.”
“But…”
Josh shook his head sadly and the simple gesture silenced Tracey. “Damon can help me in the kitchen,” she whispered finally, her eyes red-rimmed, puffy and watery. “Zachary,” Tracey addressed her son, “Go play in the garden. Don’t disturb your grandpa.”
Josh held his wrinkled hand out to his grandson and shook his head at Tracey. “Let him come with me. I have something to show him.”
Zachary smiled widely, eagerly, and followed his grandfather after Tracey nodded her approval.
“Hey babe,” Josh whispered as he bent his thin form over the blond in bed. “Are you feeling any better?”
Lance shook his head weakly and forced a smile. “I don’t think I’m gonna get better, Josh.” Long ago, they had promised each other never to lie about how they felt, both physically and emotionally. And that was a promise that would never be broken.
“It’s okay,” Josh murmured as he pressed his lips gently against Lance’s. He smiled as he straightened and said, “Don’t feel guilty for leaving me, baby. Don’t fight if you can’t. No matter what, you’ll always be here, right?” Josh placed his hand over his heart and Lance smiled.
“Love you.”
“You too.” Josh said hoarsely, as he left the room and beckoned to Zachary, who had been standing at the door all along and was accustomed to seeing his grandfathers kiss, to follow him.
When they reached the stables where Josh kept the horses, Josh pulled something out from the coat that hung against the huge wooden door. He licked his lips and gave the curious teenager the piece of paper.
“Boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago, Lance’s father didn’t like me at all – which is understandable, considering I’m a GUY,” Josh let out a soft chuckle. “but I loved Lance with all my heart and soul. He was everything good in my life, and still is. You and your mother are NOT forgotten, of course. But Lance… he was just there all along, you know?
“Anyway, Lance’s dad wouldn’t let us be together. He didn’t want the town to know that Lance was a gay.” Josh’s eyes darkened for a moment before he cleared his throat and continued, “I was… angry isn’t even the word. I don’t know what came over me when Lance told me what his father said, but I felt so choked. And I almost cried right there and then.”
A small smile played on Josh’s face as he remembered what happened next. Zachary, who was sitting on the haystack, waited anxiously for what his grandfather had to say. “Lance couldn’t stand the separation either. So we came up with this ridiculous plan…”
This time, Josh laughed out loud before he croaked out, “We were going to elope together.”
Zachary’s eyes bulged and Josh again chortled at the look of utter bewilderment and shock on his grandson’s face. “Yep, we were all set. And we were supposed to meet under the tallest tree in Layson Park. I remember that day like it was yesterday…”
Josh’s voice trailed off and a pensive, almost longing, expression played on his wrinkled yet handsome features. “We had everything planned out then. We would run away, just run aimlessly, till we reached the next town, wherever it was, and then get married and live there forever.
“We decided we would run away the next night at twilight. I was like an excited squirrel the whole day, jumping at the smallest noises and kissing my mom again and again. Of course, I reached the park at exactly twelve that night with my clothes packed in a bundle and all my savings in my pocket – mind you, I was about twenty at the time and I had saved quite a bit of money, miser that I am.” Zachary giggled at the picture Josh had painted of himself. “But then when I reached there, I didn’t see anyone.”
Josh sighed and shook his head, “I don’t mind admitting, I was really worried. ‘What if Lance changed his mind?’ I thought to myself. So I hung around and waited. Waited and waited and waited. Till five the next morning. He never did show. So I went right up to the tree, ready to punch it, just do something to vent my anger. And guess what?”
Zachary shot his grandfather a questioning look. “I found that letter right there,” Josh grinned boyishly as Zachary lifted the letter up. “Go on,” Josh pressed softly, yet urgently, as Zachary began unfolding the item in question hesitantly. “Read it.”
Swallowing hard, the young teenager began, shakily, to read the words written neatly on the pretty piece of notepad. “If you get there before I do, don’t give up on me. I’ll meet you when my chores are through; I don’t know how long I’ll be. But I’m not going to let you down, darling, wait and see…”
“And between now and then, till I see you again, I’ll be loving you. Love, me.” Josh finished softly.
Zachary looked up from the letter and saw the look of misery in his grandfather’s eyes. “What happened then, grandpa?”
Josh took in a deep breath before continuing. “Well, Lance showed up eventually. In this town. Where I was waiting for him.”
Zachary shot Josh a disbelieving look. “This town? Greenslore? No way!”
Josh let out a throaty laugh before giving Zachary a cheeky, amused grin. “Yes way. And we bought this farm and adopted your mom. She was only twelve then.” A slow smile crossed the blue-eyed creature’s face and then it was gone. “It’s been twenty-four years since then… twenty four years.”
Zachary handed Josh the letter wordlessly and watched as the weary old man hid the letter back in the old coat pocket, acting as though the torn piece of paper was a treasure, just as he had said earlier – like a miser.
Zachary couldn’t stop his tears. The tears that kept clouding his vision. They hadn’t even had their dinner yet… it had been THAT short a period but his granddad… his granddad was gone.
It was ten o’clock now. But they were having a simple yet meaningful funeral at the church that was a five minute walk from the farm. Zachary ignored the gnawing feeling in his stomach as Josh held tighter to his small hand. He could feel the wrinkles on Josh’s hard hand as they walked together and Zachary knew the hardness had come because these hands had been used to work. Alongside with Lance’s hands. They were both wonderful, WONDERFUL people. Zachary only wished he had been able to spend more time with Lance.
If only he had been able to help his granddad in some way, any way. If only he had known about his grandparents’ history sooner. If only his mom and dad had been able to do something about Lance’s condition. If only his grandfather didn’t have to suffer the rest of his life alone. If only Lance would come back and say it was all a joke, say he wasn’t dead. If only Zachary could shake the sick feeling in his stomach at the sight of Lance’s coffin. If only his grandfather wouldn’t seem so calm. If only, if only, if only…
Too late for if only’s now.
Zachary watched, as if in slow motion, his parents and the rest of the villagers from Greenslore enter the church. Tracey pulling gently on Josh’s hand and telling him to go into the church, Josh shaking his head slowly and smiling sadly, Tracey nodding as if she understood before walking away slowly, knowing that Josh wanted Zachary with him.
“Your mother doesn’t know about the elopement,” Josh said softly at last, as the mass begun, and just as Zachary could bear the silence no longer, feeling as though it was choking him.
“I know,” Zachary whispered. “She would have told me earlier if she knew.” Zachary glanced up at Josh. “Why didn’t you tell her?”
“How could I tell her, Zachary? How was I supposed to explain?” Josh sighed and shook his head. “Lance and I agreed not to tell her, but there’s something about you…” Josh reached out and placed his fingers gently on the side of Zachary’s face. “You look so much like Lance… I just had to tell you.”
Zachary smiled ruefully. “Mom always said I looked like granddad.”
“Yeah,” Josh said softly. “Yeah, you do.”
All throughout the mass, Josh and Zachary had stood in silence, hands clasped together, lips unmoving, yet hearts praying for their lost loved one. As the father ended the ritual, Zachary looked up at his grandpa and was shocked at the tears in his eyes.
He could barely make out the words that Josh was mouthing as tears glistened in the depths of those intense azure crystals. Finally, Zachary caught on.
“If you get there before I do, don’t give up on me. I’ll meet you when my chores are through; I don’t know how long I’ll be. But I’m not going to let you down, darling, wait and see, and between now and then, till I see you again, I’ll be loving you. Love, me.”
As they left the church later that night, Zachary could still hear Josh’s words playing in his head. “Between now and then, till I see you again, I’ll be loving you. Love, me.”
-fin-
”Love Me” by Collin Raye
I read a note my grandma wrote
Back in nineteen twenty three
Grandpa kept it in his coat
And he showed it once to me
He said, “Boy, you might not understand
But a long, long time ago
Grandma’s daddy didn’t like me none
But I loved your grandma so
We had this crazy plan to meet
And run away together
Get married in the first town we came
To and live forever
But nailed to the tree where
We were supposed to meet
Instead I found this letter and this is what it said:
If you get there before I do
Don’t give up on me
I’ll meet you when my chores are through
I don’t know how long I’ll be
But I’m not gonna let you down
Darling, wait and see
And between now and then
Till I see you again
I’ll be loving you.
Love, me.”
I read those words just hours before
My grandma passed away
In the doorway of the church
Where me and grandpa stopped to pray
I know I’d never seen him cry
In all my fifteen years
But as he said these words to her
His eyes filled up with tears
“If you get there before I do
Don’t give up on me
I’ll meet you when my chores are through
I don’t know how long I’ll be
But I’m not gonna let you down
Darling, wait and see
And between now and then
Till I see you again
I’ll be loving you.
Love, me.”
Between now and then
Till I see you again
I’ll be loving you.
Love, me
